


those lovely bones (taste my venom)

by mikronicos



Series: knock, knock, let the devil in [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cannibalism, Easter Eggs, Glamorous Lance McClain, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Not A Monsterfucker But I Lost All Plausible Deniability While Writing This, M/M, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, War, i put easter eggs in literally every multichapter i write so, is it cannabalism if its an alien symbiote, none of these are real tags lmao, obviously, oviously, pls future me dont be a monsterfucker im begging you, the eternal paradox of venom fic writers lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2020-10-12 22:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20571584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikronicos/pseuds/mikronicos
Summary: Lance has a secret, and the team is determined to figure out what's going on.a.k.a. that one venomized!lance au i wrote in like 3 hours





	1. so uh,, i may have a,, parasite- pARASITE?! TAKE IT BACK LANCE

**Author's Note:**

> uwu i swear im not a monsterfucker

Lance yawned, blinking sleep out of his eyes and blinking blearily towards the gray, nondescript ceiling that all of the Castleship’s quarters boasted. He rolled over, smacking his lips and pulling the thin sheets over his head in an effort to ignore the obnoxious alarm- if you could call the KLAXON-level noise that had begun to sound throughout the castle that- and sneak in a few more minutes of shut-eye.

**Hungry.**

_ _ _ Shut the fuck up, I’m trying to sleep.  _ Lance groaned, waving his hand in a slap-like motion at the air above his head. He rolled over and shoved his face into his thin (and miraculously barely dusty for being in a 10,600 decaphoeb-old Castle) pillow, crushing the sides to his ears in a futile attempt to ignore his symbiote.

**Get up. Food. Humans need food. We need food. Perhaps Hunk…**

Venom growled hungrily and mentally salivated, filling Lance’s head with visions of his very delicious, very  _ dead _ teammate. Lance pulled a face and faked vomiting before his hand poked himself in the face. “What. Did I tell you. About eating friends.” Lance rubbed his eyes and pried them open to squint-glare at Venom, who had lifted from his shoulder and now stared at him expectantly in the form of a sinewy, goopy noodle.

**...not to?**

“Yep, and I’m holding you to that. I’m sure there will be some Galra attacks soon, and then you can go bite some heads.” Lance reassured the symbiote.

**But human brains are so much tastier.**

“Well, you’re gonna just have to deal with it. There’s a limited supply of humans up here who are  _ very _ important to me, so we’re going to keep our distance, got it?” Venom nodded, the motion as dejected as a muscly, slimy noodle can express. Lance narrowed his eyes searchingly at the symbiote, then deemed them apologetic enough with a satisfied but wary smile. He pulled off his sleep headphones and ran his fingers through his hair, wrinkling his nose as his fingers came back greasy.

After a quick shower- he saved the pampering for nighttime, when he could relax without ruminating apprehensively over what was to follow- he slipped on his shirt and pants, making a mental note to thank Coran for doing the laundry, and chose a blue flannel to tie around his waist instead of his usual jacket.

**Ooh. Such a shocking change.**

Lance swatted in Venom’s general direction and stuck his tongue out at them. “Shut the fuck up and grab me my comb.” The symbiote complied, reaching out a tentacle towards the small bathroom that was adjoined to his room as Lance moved to pick up his phone. He unplugged it gingerly- the setup that allowed them to use their phones had about a million wires and he wanted to avoid being strangled by Pidge before the end of this war. 

Lance scrolled through his downloaded playlists, settling on  _ chill aesthetics  _ and snapping his fingers to  _ Idle Town. _ Venom returned with his comb in hand- well, tentacle- and nuzzled their slimy face into Lance’s hand. He scratched at the symbiote’s neck (or at least where he  _ thought _ their neck was, he never was too sure about his bodymate’s anatomy) and smiled at the pleased purr-like vibrations the symbiote made.

**Hungry, Lance.**

“Ugh, fine.” He whined, dragging out the the words. Venom curled back into his chest and took control of Lance’s legs, walking him jerkily towards the door. “Ay, stop that!” he snapped, smacking his leg. Venom grumbled against his lungs but conceded control of his legs to a grateful Lance.

As Lance entered the kitchen with a bright smile playing on his lips, Hunk looked up from the space-stove-thing that he was cooking over and cracked a smile at him. Hunk chuckled to himself at Lance’s scattered demeanor, the boy in question seeming to be in deep thought and having a conversation with himself with his earbuds in.

“Morning, Lance! What song are you listening to?” Lance looked up mid-sentence and snapped a few times near his ear to clear his head. You get used to the whole Lance Talking To Himself Thing after a while. Hunk assumes it’s how he works through problems, not one to pick his best friend’s brain over his habits.

“Hey, Hunk! Uh…” he takes a moment to check his phone.  _ “Best Friend, _ by Rex Orange County! It’s that song on that one chill playlist I like, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I remember liking that one too.”

“Whatcha makin’?”

“Those space-avocado pancake thingies you like.”

** _We_ ** ** like. And heads are better.**

Lance ignored Venom’s grumbling. “All right!” He pumped his fist in the air with a grin. “ETA on ‘em?”

Hunk shrugged, poking at a sizzling oblong grayish-purple shape with a spatula, “Hmm, not sure. Probably like five minutes?”

Lance smiled tiredly, flouncing to the couch and flopping down face-first on a conveniently placed pillow next to Pidge, who stared down unblinkingly at their screen, which was balanced precariously on their knees.

**They could be a good snack. We are hungry, Lance. Pidge is smart. Their brain would have many delicious chemicals-**

“Shut up,” Lance muttered to himself. Pidge looked up from the bright white glow of their screen to raise an eyebrow at Lance. “Not talking to you, Pidgey.” Lance groaned, shoving his face into the pillow. Pidge shrugged and returned to their work. It was a common occurrence for Lance to be found talking to himself or having a one-sided argument; the rest of the Castle’s tenants had long adjusted to Lance’s strange habits and the boy had done his best to accommodate his roommates’ requests and habits as well. Dark tendrils wrapped themselves around the hand that was pinned under Lance’s chest. Lance squeezed their hand gently with a soft smile.

Shiro walked in soon after Lance had draped himself on the couch. He waved to Pidge and smiled when they waved back. Shiro ruffled Lance’s hair, smiling wider at his tired grunt and settling in the armchair that was unofficially His with  _ Red, White and Royal Blue _ in his hands. He adamantly refused to show the book to the other paladins despite their protests and pouts, something about ‘innapropriate scenes’ and ‘fuck, you’re children.’

Allura filed in soon after, adjusting her hair, which was fastened with a teal jeweled pin, and sitting with impeccable posture on the other empty armchair next to Coran, where he had been quietly scrolling through a tablet, humming familiar tune (probably an ancient Altean tune) that sounded suspiciously similar to  _ Mmm Whatcha Say.  _

Keith came in not long after Allura, curling in on himself with a closed-off expression on the couch cushion next to her, although Keith had pushed himself so far away from her he was practically on the armrest. 

Venom wound their way up Lance’s arm, little tendrils making their way towards his chest, where they settled between his lungs.

After a few moments, Hunk turned to their ragtag team with a grin, “Pancakes are ready!”

**We have changed our mind about eating Hunk.**

“I thought so,” Lance muttered to himself with a little smirk. He looked up brightly at Hunk, “All right!” and took his seat next to the head of the table. The others followed suit with various exclamations of excitement (or, in Keith’s case, not scowling for once.).

**We would like some pancakes as well.**

Lance was about to protest that they could use his taste buds just fine before he sighed in resignation and speared his pancake harder than was strictly necessary. Lance took a bite from his weird five-pronged space fork after a moment, then held another piece up to his collar so Venom could snatch a bite of pancake for himself. Venom rumbled his appreciation as Lance held up another bite to his shirt collar.

Keith looked at him like he’d grown a second head.  _ Why’s the emo nightmare staring at me?  _ Lance smiled awkwardly back at him, poking at the diced neon blue fruit Hunk had plopped on his plate in a messy, sticky lump. “Hey, Hunk?” Lance asked. “What kind of-”

**It is a fruit found on Axrenthian. Similar to your human ‘grapes.’**

Lance had to agree that the taste was akin to the human fruit. 

Hunk looked over at him. “Hm? What kind of what?”

Lance scrambled to think of something to say. “Uh… What kind of, uh, ingredients are in these pancakes?”

**Smooth.**

“Shut the fuck up,” Lance muttered to himself, listening with a smile (Lance did love his best friend after all, and he was happy to see him so passionate over something he loved) to the rant Hunk was on about the diversity and similarity of ingredients available in space or whatever.

Keith looked at him strangely again.

\-----

  
  


“Something’s up with Lance.” Keith said, slamming the door to the common room behind him. Pidge, Shiro and Hunk, who had all been enjoying their rest time, looked up at Keith’s intrusion.

Pidge snorted, returning to their screen. “No shit. He’s been weird since he got sick for like a week back at the Garrison.”

Hunk pouted and glared without much heat over at them. “Hey! That’s kinda rude!” He deliberated for a moment. “You’re not wrong, though.”

Shiro clicked his tongue, looking up from his book. “He’s always talking to himself like he’s talking to a whole other person. I’m not saying that’s weird, but…”

“That’s weird.” Pidge picked up the end of his sentence, eyes still glued to the screen.

Hunk snapped his fingers, trying to remember something. “Oh! Guys! This one time- you know the conversations he has with himself?” Various expressions of assent. “Well, I’d stayed late with my cooking class at the Garrison, and I came back to our dorm- we shared a room- and he was having one of his self-conversations-”

Pidge groaned. “Can you just get to the point already?”

Hunk picked up a roll of sugar paper he’d been examining and whacked Pidge on the back of the head. “I was getting to that!”

“Go on,” Shiro prompted.

_ “Anyway, _ he was talking to himself, he said something like  _ I think Hunk’s back, hide, _ and this horrible, raspy, weirdly deep voice answered him,  ** _All right, but we will talk about this later,_ ** and Lance said,  _ Alrighty then, bud,  _ and then he started talking to me like nothing happened. It was, like, really weird.” Hunk finished, slightly out of breath from saying all that in fifteen seconds.

Pidge sat up from their slouched position, snapping their laptop shut. “Wow, okay, I was just expecting something a little odd, that’s fucking creepy. Maybe it’s aliens.”

Shiro frowned. “You and your brother with your- actually, that does make a lot of sense.”

Hunk waved his arms in a  _ stop _ motion. “Hold up, hold up, hold up. Are you saying my best bro has been possessed by some weird alien parasite almost the whole time I’ve known him?” 

Keith sat down next to Shiro. “Yes, that about sums it up. The only thing that’s more important than that-”

“We’re in an alien war, but whatever.”

_ “More important than that _ is finding out what the alien is.”

Hunk pumped his fist. “Team Find Out About The Weird Alien Parasite Thingy Inside Lance on three! One! Two! Three!”

“Team Aliweirparateamthingy!”

“In hindsight, that was a shitty cheer to begin with.”


	2. in which pidge realizes they underestimated lance, venom is a cheeky little shit, and pigs probably fly at some point

It was midnight, the starlight reflected against the tall arching windows thrown into glittering patterns against the barren hallways of the Castleship. Pidge was curled in the corner of the common room, tapping furiously at their keyboard in an attempt to upgrade Blue’s ice cannons.

Lance was sprawled against the thin sheets of his bed, staring up at the nondescript gray ceiling that all of the rooms in the castle boasted. After an agonizingly boring moment of silence, he dragged his hand down his face. “I’m. so.  _ bored _ .” he dragged out the word and pouted.

**I know what we could do that’s more interesting than just lying here for hours. **

Venom coiled slyly around Lance’s wrist, crawling with night-black tendrils towards his chest. Lance chuckled. “Flirt.” He sat up, resting his back against the headboard and cupping his hands against his chest. Venom slithered into his cupped palms and melted into a puddle of sinuous black goo in his hands.

**I learned it from my host. ** ** _You_ ** **, not Eddie. He acted like, and I quote, “A stinky garbage bastard man.” That was his ex-fiancee.**

Lance burst into wheezing laughter. “What-” he exploded into another round of giggles. “What the fuck, she  _ said  _ that?”

**Yes.**

Lance laughed again. “Oh my god, my lungs may never recover from that-” It took a few minutes for the giggling boy to calm down. “I think I’m gonna get a midnight snack. Wanna come with?”

**It seems we do not have a choice.**

“Damn straight.”

**Ew. Heterosexuality. (this one’s for you, cian.)**

“Ah, I’ve taught you well, young padawan.”

Lance rolled out of bed and set out on his quest to eat at least half of the kitchen’s supplies within the hour. He slipped his phone out of his pocket and played  _ HOME  _ at a ridiculously high volume. The song was a bop, and it wasn’t like his teammates, all snuggled up in their soundproofed rooms, were going to hear anything much. 

Lance practically kicked down the door to the commons, Venom stretching their noodle head out of Lance’s shoulder like a veiny, slimy dog on an equally slimy leash. (Don’t tell Venom I said that, I would prefer to have my head on my shoulders for the rest of my life.) Lance made his way towards the Castle’s huge fridge and threw the doors open wide, debating out loud about which snack to eat.

Pidge, still hidden in the corner, gasped at the sight.  _ I knew it! So that’s the parasite… _

Venom’s head whipped around to glare at the sound’s maker. Pidge clapped a hand over their mouth quietly and stared pleadingly at the symbiote as if to say  _ oh my god please don’t murder me, I’ll let Lance have your weird alien babies just please don’t kill me.  _ Venom grumbled but made a motion similar to nodding, moving to nestle in Lance’s hair.   
Lance looked up from his perusing of the fridge. “Vennie? You see something you like?”

Venom purred at the nickname and nestled deeper between Lance’s locks.  **I don’t see anything. ** Pidge let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding in their corner.  **Unless you want to sneak into one of your precious teammates’ rooms and have a little snack there- **

Lance flicked at Venom’s noodle body with a chastising “What did I say about eating teammates? That’s on our  _ Don’t You Dare Do That Or I Swear I Will Send You Back To Earth To Find A New Host  _ list, remember?”   


Venom poked Lance’s face with a thin, stretching tendril.  **You know I don’t want to leave you, Lance. I tease.**

Lance tutted and poked Venom back. “You say that, but then I catch you thinking about feasting on Shiro’s insides when I’m just trying to get some goddamn sleep.”

Pidge inhaled sharply and whimpered slightly, although they’d never admit it.  _ It wants to… Eat us? And the only thing stopping it is Lance? Damn, I should’ve given that boy more credit. _

Lance slammed the refrigerator door shut, holding up his prize of a container of brownie-like baked goods Hunk had made a couple of days ago. “Ta-da! Chocolate for your brain chemical-obsessed self. Leave a few for me, okay?” Venom made a nodlike motion and dove for the container in Lance’s hand as he left the common room, his cheery conversation with the symbiote fading into the distance.

Pidge sighed. Took off their glasses and pinched the bridge of their nose. Sighed again.

“What. The. Actual. Fuck.”

After a few moments of questioning reality, a devilish smirk spread across Pidge’s lips. Keith would never live it down that they had been the first to find proof of the parasite. And, once they were done collecting evidence on it, well… 

_ They would destroy it. _


End file.
